The Teaching Post...Finally

I've been teaching here for over six months, and strangely enough, I haven't written anything here about my job. Is it because my job at Avalon is terrible? Well, sometimes. But for the most part, it's not that bad. Without further ado, here's a glimpse into my mundane day-today.

When considering an ESL job in Korea, you essentially have two choices: hagwons or public schools. Hagwons are ubiquitous private academies (most commonly for English and Math) where parents send their kids after they're finished with public school. A typical Korean kid is in school -- in one form or another -- from 7:30 AM to 10:00 PM, and sometimes on Saturdays. If nothing else, teaching here has made me appreciate the freedom that American students have. Just the ability to go home and play every day after school isn't something that should be taken for granted.

I ended up taking a hagwon job, mostly because the money is slightly better at the entry level. In private academies, you make slightly more, the class sizes are smaller, and the teaching hours are often much less than in a public school. There are, of course, many disadvantages as well. There are only 10 vacation days in a hagwon contract, compared to the weeks and weeks of vacation that public school teachers have. I've only had time for one extended trip, whereas public school teachers I know have been to Japan, Cambodia, China, and Vietnam all in the last 6 months. First world problems, right? The hours are brutal, too. I knew from my experience at EMS that I do not thrive on the night shift, yet here I am punishing myself again, every day from 2:30 to 10:30. My co-worker Matty has a relevant joke here: "What does a hagwon teacher get on his pizza? Nothing, because all the pizza places are closed when he gets off work. Frown."

All the lousy parts aside, the ESL gig in Korea is relatively easy. Any ESL teacher here who says their job is hard has either never had a real job or doesn't know what actual work is. My actual time spent in front of a classroom amounts to 14 hours a week. The rest of my time is spent lesson planning, "lesson planning" (a.k.a. aimlessly surfing the web), practicing my Korean, finding excuses to walk down the block and get some fresh air, and listening to NPR. I haven't once had to take my lesson planning home with me. I get it all done at work, and I still have free time to kill. I don't think I've ever met a teacher in the States who can say that.

The classes themselves can be good or bad. Avalon divides its middle school students into four levels based on ability: H (for Horizon), M (for Mountain), T (for TOEFL), and 녹지원 (Nokjiwon, the Honors kids). They change every teacher's schedule with each semester (of which there are four, one for each season...no rest for the weary), so the levels I teach are often all over the place. This semester I have mostly M1s, with some M3s and T2s. I am also lucky enough to have the highest Nokjiwon class, which -- with the exception of one or two kids -- is a blast to teach.

On Mondays and Tuesdays, I teach Writing in 40 minute periods. Avalon has a pretty strict curriculum which we are to adhere to, and unfortunately, this curriculum is dreadfully boring. As soon as they enter Avalon, they are being trained to succeed on the TOEFL test, the exam on which a good grade can get them into a prestigious high school or college. That's right, they aren't even considered by college admissions departments unless they can demonstrate fluency in another language. The West has it easy! Occasionally, I get to give them a fun assignment, but for the most part, we are teaching from the book and teaching to the test. Blech.

On Thursdays and Fridays the kids have Speaking class, also for 40 minutes. Speaking can be really fun or terrible, depending on the class. Some classes are very conversational and active, and in some you can hear a pin drop. The good classes will blow through the book work in 20 minutes, so we often get to spend time just chatting or doing fun activities. At the higher levels, though, the adherence to the TOEFL format becomes stricter, so the students often unfortunately lose the sparkle in their eyes by that point.

Wednesday is Speaking Academy. These are optional free classes for students who want extra practice, designed and taught by the foreign staff. This semester I'm doing Role Playing (meh) and Model United Nations with the higher levels (which I'm really excited about; hopefully I won't be disappointed).

That's the basic run-down of what my weeks look like. Expect more detailed descriptions of the classes that I like. I'm hoping for a good semester.

Engrish (Part 1)

Even if there was nothing else funny going on in Korea (don't worry, there totally is), I would still have the plethora of Engrish to give me some laughs. For the uneducated, Engrish is a cutely pejorative term for the attempt by Asians to translate things from their own languages into our own. You see it most commonly on signs, like the innocuous "Way Out" instead of "Exit" or the outrageous "No. 1 A+ Well-Being Coffee Shop" (coming on a little strong there, coffee shop). These minor foibles are ubiquitous in Japan and Korea (less so in China, from what I hear), and never cease to amuse me. Here are some of my favorites so far:

 An advertisement for Starbucks' "Very Berry Hibiscus" drink. There is no "v" sound in Hangeul (no "f" either), so when translated to Korean it comes out as Berry Berry Hibiscus. Completely missing the joke. Swing and a miss, Korean Starbucks.

 The Italian restaurant in the same building as Avalon, The Il Grappa, which, as we all know, is Italian for "The The Grappa."

 Oof. And you thought rheumatoid arthritis was bad.

 Bleep bloip. I am a roibot. Destroi all humains.

Get out of the way, it's an emergegy!

 Downtown's Funny and Delicious Pizzeria.
"What did you have for lunch?"
"Pizza. It was hilarious."

This one is actually probably one of the most common. In Korean, the words for "fun," "funny," and "interesting" all sort of overlap, so they always forget that "fun" and "funny" mean very different things. Almost none of my students (even the advanced ones) remember to use these words correctly.

Sex on the Peach. Sounds like a messy affair.

You would think with all these English teachers floating around, people and companies would pull them aside from time to time for a bit of casual proofreading. However, my impression -- strengthened by the abundance of private English academies and my experience in one -- is that the illusion of English proficiency is actually far more important than the actuality.

Consider this Part 1 in a running series of Engrish hilarity. Expect more in the future!

Advisory Board

On a completely unrelated note, I want to take a moment to address any people who have stumbled across this blog in search of advice or firsthand experience regarding ESL in Korea. When I first began researching, the majority of good advice I found was located on blogs just like this one, and I am indebted to them for providing an extremely helpful and accurate picture of what I would be getting into. Furthermore, there is depth to the information on someone's year-long blog that you won't find on any recruiting website, and a refreshing lack of the bitterness and venom that you will find on Dave's ESL Cafe.

So, if there are any such readers, please don't be afraid to ask any questions you might have about what you will be getting yourself into. This is especially true if you live in the New York area, as I can give you a step by step on the documents process as well. I could always use fodder for new posts, but most of all I just want to be able to provide the same help that I garnered a few months ago.

One Month and Some First Impressions

Since today marks one month here in South Korea, I figured I'd finally get it together and start blogging. This will probably be a long one, but suffer through it and I'll try to make them shorter in the future. And as for the dorky blog name, I gave Phil my word that I would keep it, so stay it shall.

I have been teaching for one month at Avalon English Academy in the city of Daegu, South Korea. Daegu is the fourth largest city in Korea, with a population of 2.4 million. That is a fraction of New York City's population, but it sometimes feels even more crowded here. Here's a photo of my new home from the summit of Yongjibong Mountain, to the south.

And here's the view from the roof of my apartment building. Not too shabby. Also, my building, as demanded by the Asian custom of making everything sound cute, is named "Happy Town."

Since Korea is so mountainous, they've learned how to squeeze millions of people into small valleys. They are also quite good at putting things on top of other things. There are huge netted driving ranges many stories high all over the city. Also check out the standard Korean parking tower. Ingenious.

This is no more than a humdrum parking garage to the locals, but every foreign teacher who comes here is amazed by it. Myself included.

Here is a by no means exhaustive list -- which will hopefully be added to with each post -- of some of the good and the bad I have encountered so far.

The Good

• Cool inventions. I've had dozens of encounters already with innovative technology or customs where the reaction is always the same: "That's brilliant! Why don't we do that in the U.S.?" We have the parking towers, of course. Restaurants also have very polite, unobtrusive buzzers on every table to get the server's attention. Fast food places often have these numbered discs which they give you when you order, and then you can go about your business elsewhere, and the disc will light up and buzz when your order is ready.
• The cost of living. Considering my salary here is nearly the same as what I was making in the U.S., and my apartment is free, money goes a long way here. I can get a full dinner at a restaurant (with free refills of all the kimchi and radishes I could want) for about $3.50.
• The internet speed. Oh wow, that's a cool song, I should downlo...OH WAIT IT'S DONE ALREADY. South Korea has the second highest internet speed in the world, behind only Japan. America is in a very sad 14th place. Americans, you can tell yourselves that's why they're so much better at Starcraft than you, you know, if it helps you sleep at night.
• The hiking. Being surrounded by mountains is pretty awesome. Yongjibong, in the first picture is only an hour and a half to the top, on foot, from my door. And of course there's an outdoor gym -- free weights and ellipticals and all -- halfway up the mountain. Why? Because Korea, that's why.

The Bad

• The coffee. I'm not a huge coffee drinker, but I do partake maybe once or twice a week. I am also by no means a coffee snob, but the coffee here is bad. Really bad. Like, monumentally bad. 
• The students. Don't let anyone tell you that Asian students are more respectful than their American counterparts. There are many differences, to be sure, but teenagers are teenagers the world over, it would seem.
• No Pandora. Pandora apparently blocks free access to any IP outside the U.S. Lame!

That's it for now. I promise that my future posts will be more thematic and a less disconnected. I will leave you with PSY's Gangnam Style, which many of you may have already seen since it apparently took off like crazy in the U.S. Here I'm betting it's only another month or two from becoming the official national anthem. I hear it at least six times a day from all sorts of venues. So if you're wondering what living in Korea is like, it's like this. Exactly like this: